Our unfortunate Member of Parliament is a first generation biped by the name of Dean Del Mastro. He is also a jackass of the first order (no insult to Equus asinus intended).
Ol’ Del really, really likes himself – a lot. He also likes mass mailings.
A couple of times a month (or as his eggshell ego requires) he sends everyone in our riding some sort of waste-of-paper tract outlining how terrifically spiffy he is.
The Mastro of deforestation is also disturbingly fond of straw-man arguments / “opinion” poles like “Would you like to pay cripplingly high taxes or nice low taxes?” and, “Do you want us to put murderers in prison or would you prefer them let loose in your living room?”. Seriously, that’s the kind of crap he kills trees for. That, and a constant steam of “look at me, check me out, I’m really, really great”. Okay Del, you are the second cumming of Christ, I get it. Now shut the fuck up already.
So, I wrote him a little email a week ago (no response, what a shock). I used email ‘cause I didn’t want to be hypocritical and contribute to Dino’s single man campaign to deforest the planet.
Anyway, here’s what I sent:
Dearest Del,
For the love of whatever twisted gods you believe in, will you please, PLEASE, stop stuffing our mailbox with dead trees?
My grandfather always told me that the more a man decries his greatness, the less he has reason to. And you, sir, have been shouting your greatness by the pound. I am fed up with your deceitful, B.S. filled one-man self-aggrandizing mission to deforest the planet and I want it to stop. I want it to stop now.
My next step may be some variety of restraining order in order to prevent your masturbatory self-love missives from filling my mailbox and pushing the planet towards death.
Please stop telling me how great you are,
My Actual Name
.
.
I know that this email doesn’t conform to parliamentary procedure, good grammar, or even good taste – but it does accurately portray my feelings.
I miss Peter… (sniff)
In case anyone thinks Magpie doth exaggerate, in the short time ol’ Dean has been in power we’ve already received more useless paper flyers (often in duplicate) than in the entire decade-plus of Peter’s reign. Long live self-agrandizement and painfully obvious political manipulation (sigh).
Comment by desert rat — March 7, 2008 @ 4:49 pm
If you lived in USA you could shoot him at leats.
Comment by αγαπη αγάπη — March 7, 2008 @ 6:38 pm
Word up, my Greek homie.
Yes, were this the U.S.A., I would be well within my 2nd amendment rights to do so. But that’s one of the differences between ‘merica and Canada – in Canada, if we don’t like our politicians we write nasty letters, in ‘merica they just shoot them.
Comment by admin — March 7, 2008 @ 7:14 pm
Yes I can attest to receiving far more paper in my box from our local PC MP as well as our PC MPP. Propaganda is their game……too bad governing the country isn’t.
Comment by Zilla's Other Half — March 16, 2008 @ 11:57 pm
This man trots out a phoney baloney development plan for little lake. A plan which will destroy what makes Peterborough a great little city to live in.
Lets see the hard facts Mr. Deano….the name of the developer…..the investors….some information on this phantom of the opera really is. Could it be that this is all smoke and mirrors?
Mr. DDM also abused tax payers money by illegally and wrongfully sending out pre election literature.
This man is scary. If he manipulates the public in these ways and has little respect for public money and political protocol.
Is this the man we want to represent us in Ottawa?
Comment by Dan Del Belmont — September 9, 2008 @ 10:05 am
Peterborough needs to elect a trustworthy, more than just talk Member of Parliament.
Comment by douglas B — September 10, 2008 @ 11:08 am
Well, just checking out this website and I find it absolutly DISGUSTING anyone would even joke about shooting out Member of Parliament. That’s sick and offensive! Also, I must point out there are some out there who may want to do a spell check before posting!
Anyway, the point of fact about some of the comments are as follows…. The mailers, hmm, everyone, despite the party can send them out and they do! Also, if your biggest complaint for some about the MP is getting a mailer than thank yourself lucky! you could be stuck with an MP who does nothing for the community at all.
Secondly, Re:Little Lake. All MP Del Mastro did was present an idea to the City Council to look at and discuss. The reason the developer (who has been named) went to the MP is because the land in question is Federal Land. So if the Gov’t and Developer decided to go forth, they wouldn’t have to consult with ANYONE! At least the MP had the courtesy to consult the City.
Finally, to the person “Zilla’s other half”, get your facts straight! MP Del Mastro is NOT a “PC MP” on a Federal level the PC Party hasn’t existed in a few years, secondly, you mention our “PC MPP” ummmm, Jeff Leal is a Liberal! IDIOTS.
Comment by Rob — October 26, 2008 @ 8:07 pm
Well, just checking out this website and I find it absolutly DISGUSTING
[Well, thanks Rob, I always aim to please. As an added bonus, if you download the proper Firefox plugin, the site smells just like raw sewage. How’d ya find me anyway? Was it a link from another DISGUSTING site, or were you specifically searching for fat used-car salesmen who bought their way into politics?]
anyone would even joke about shooting out Member of Parliament.
[Oops, sorry there. I see you are referring to the comment by a reader from Greece by the name of αγάπη. My bad, please do go on…]
That’s sick and offensive! Also, I must point out there are some out there who may want to do a spell check before posting!
[The dude in question is from Greece (that’s another country, with a different language), give him/her/it a break. I suppose all of your Greek spelling & grammar is flawless when you comment on Greek sites.]
Anyway, the point of fact about some of the comments are as follows…. The mailers, hmm, everyone, despite the party can send them out and they do!
[Please translate that last sentence into English, and I’ll get back to you about it.]
Also, if your biggest complaint for some about the MP is getting a mailer than thank yourself lucky! you could be stuck with an MP who does nothing for the community at all.
[So, in your vast and obviously superior mind, sending out a constant stream of hate-filled trash is equal to “doing something for the community”. You have obviously never met Peter Adams.
And, by the by, “thank yourself lucky” makes absolutely no sense. After criticizing someone with English as a second language, you should at least try to write in coherent sentences. You know, to teach the stupid foreigner.]
Secondly, Re:Little Lake. All MP Del Mastro did was present an idea to the City Council to look at and discuss. The reason the developer (who has been named) went to the MP is because the land in question is Federal Land. So if the Gov’t and Developer decided to go forth, they wouldn’t have to consult with ANYONE! At least the MP had the courtesy to consult the City.
[You have got me there, these back-room dealings are totally legit. Ol’ Del could pave over Little Lake and build a coal-fired baby immolation plant without the city’s consent. The nerve of some people for thinking that those who live in a community should have any say in what happens there. That way lies COMMUNISM!]
Finally, to the person “Zilla’s other half”, get your facts straight! MP Del Mastro is NOT a “PC MP” on a Federal level the PC Party hasn’t existed in a few years, secondly, you mention our “PC MPP” ummmm, Jeff Leal is a Liberal! IDIOTS.
[Remember assumption makes an ass out of you:
Zilla’s other half’s MP is Barry Devolin, and he/she/it’s MPP is Laurie Scott – and BOTH ARE MEMBERS OF THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY, you ass (see what I meant about the assumption thing?). Perhaps, in your parallel universe, Dino Del Mastro is the Social Credit Mayor of Little Lake, but here in reality he is the CONSERVATIVE MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT for Peterborough – and that, in my humble opinion, makes him a Conservative MP. You see, the acronym “MP” actually stands for Member of Parliament – and the fact that Del runs under the Conservative party banner, as a member of the Conservative party – well, that makes him a Conservative. And when we combine the two, we get a “Conservative MP”. Please don’t thank me, we’ll just call it “One To Grow On”. IDIOT.]
Comment by admin — October 27, 2008 @ 10:40 pm
I think the mailers are boilerplate with [insert your MP’s name here] put on em. Tell me if this one sounds familiar…
http://the-internationalist.blogspot.com/2009/02/why-i-suspect-that-cheryl-gallant-is.html
Comment by Foog — February 7, 2009 @ 4:25 pm